What's the Number 15 Reason You Can't Find Love?

 


The number 15 reason you can't find love is another one that will pierce the illusion of love. Don't shoot the messenger. There is a small percentage of couples that understand the reality of what I'm about to say. They usually stay together.


The number 15 reason you can't find love is because you believe love is a feeling. I have already talked about neurochemistry and how the brain secretes neurochemicals that make you feel good, like dopamine and oxytocin.


That is not love. That is just natures way of ensuring perpetuation of the human species. It's a biological function. Every healthy human being has it. That is the catalyst for your feelings.


If you attempt to build the foundation of your relationship on feelings, it will be a very unstable relationship. Feelings come and go. They are predicated on external forces. You need good conditions to make you feel good. You need your significant other to do things that you believe make you feel good. If they don't do those things, you believe they don't love you.


Then there are those of you who say love is an action. You're almost there. What's behind the action? That is what's most important. If you are with someone who does nice things to make you feel good, your relationship will be in trouble if they stop. You start complaining that your feelings for them are dying.


Instead, understand intention. To understand intention, you need to have very open conversations about how you see one another. It is also in your best interest to understand if that person stands for you. In which ways do they stand for you? Their actions will reflect that.


This requires deep heart to heart conversations. It has nothing to do with having the same favorite color, going on exotic vacations or expensive dinner outings. Love is a place to stand. When you stand in love, you are there in good or bad times. It's more of a commitment than a feeling. As I have already implied, commitment or anything built on feelings will be unstable.


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